Education

As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to be a teacher. I played school all day long and after I went to school I continued to play teacher and make my sister play the student and correct papers,write on the chalk board and read books. I love school. I love the smell of the school supply isle at any store. I love the feel of new paper,notebooks with unwritten on pages and pencils that need to be sharpened.
So I have taught in Montana, subbed before I had Ally. In Michigan taught art in a one room school house, in New York lead a group of Brownies, cause I had two babies at this point, in Texas, and in Arizona. Now I am in Mississippi and the term school is taking on new meaning.
I went on more job huntings than one can count this summer. I took "my packet" of resume, recommendations and licenses to every district and school within an hour of Hattiesburg. I was lucky to get three offers for a job on the same day. Here is the rub. I took the one for the most money, I know I should have seen it coming.
I raced home to Arizona to get my teaching stuff. I have one entire side of the garage filled from floor to ceiling with my stuff. I drove for two long days with my daughter Robyn and a dog in 105 heat to get to the job.
I carried box after box to my room, decorated, planned and got down to teaching only to have the worst experience in education in my life. I was yelled at by my supervisor on a daily basis,sat with other teachers in meetings while we were all belittled and told we were no good. I had had enough when I got a note a day about small items like: no names on the bathroom doors,using the word buns, etc. I began to throw up daily and feel horrible.
I was told to make the children walk in a line with no speaking, eat with them and do not talk and make sure that they never behaved like children.
Well, those of you that read this know me well enough that I teach by letting them be children. I let them make mistakes and that was my clue, I had made a mistake.
I quit and have not felt better.
I decided to give subbing a try. Went to the sub training to be told that there were 300 subs on the list, do not expect to work until Dec. or Jan., make sure I dressed in a certain way, make sure the children were not behaving like children and that no one will leave any of the campuses during the day. Kind of came across as JAIL to me.
I came home very depressed and not sure what to do with the fifteen bins in my car that hold only a portion of my school supplies. I do not think that teaching should feel like a prison.
The schools are using words that are on the "big test" daily, they are doing practice pages the look like the "big test", they are having rooms look similar so that the children all see the same things.
Anyone of you feel like screaming yet. I did and I worked out my frustration by lugging and I mean lugging my boxes up 3 flights, 38 stairs today. That is 38 steps up and 38 steps down 12 times. That is 912 steps to think about my decision.
I want to continue to educate, I want to make a difference and I want to find where I fit in the world of achadamia. I want to be a catalyst of change, I want my students to grow and learn and love school like I do.
I just do not know if public education still holds those beliefs. I hope that there is a place in this world where an education is like mine: art, fun, colorful, interactive, and test free....
I am now following my gut. I will teach school and I will do it on my terms, I just have to find the others of you out there that agree with me and my convictions. If you are a parent and you see testing as the only thing that your school is focusing on, say something. Go to your kids schools and complain. We need to get this country to figure this out. Life as a child should be wonderous and school should be where an imagination can sprout and dreams come alive....
Here's to a school year of new crayon smells, clean white paper, and a teacher for each child that thinks testing STinks.

Spelling errors or bad typing

The answer is none of the above. I forgot to put my glasses on when posting the last two posts. I have been fighting the fact that they are now necessary in my daily life and have come to realize in the last week or two especially, that I am not teaching at the moment and cannot blame the tired eyes for the lack of focus.
I was unable to read the directions on the back of a medicine bottle yesterday, unable to read text on a paper for Robyn and needed them to see the computer at the library bookfair with my tutoring buddy Redwan.
So it is official. I am old..................
My eyes are old and I need help.
So today is the first day that I will acknowledge the need for glasses all day. Wish me luck

new home

It is amazing to me how a home can become ones own is a very short time. I was able to go into our new home on two occasions yesterday. First I went by to let the current owners know that we are not stockers, just live in a one bedroom apartment and need some sort of outlet and happiness so we drive by our new home daily. Weird I know.
I was able to speak with the owner and his wife and be in the house for almost two hours. It was amazing that in that time I was able to feel the home. The inspection report came back unbelieveable. Not a thing wrong. I would have guessed this from how maticulas the home is kept and the man is Jeff only about 15 years older. They too have binders for all the manuals etc. See there are others of us out there.
Anyway, I was able to sit in the kitchen and while talking envision how I would make it our home. Later in the evening we were able to go over and see the sunset at the house and talk about some of the systems with the owner,security etc. before they leave for a trip to Illinois to find their new home. As we were driving away the lights were on the house and a full moon was shining. It is going to be a great home......
I was able to get some pictures and I am going to figure out how to scan them to add to this post so be patient....

Time Away

I have been away from my blog for too long. I have spent the summer trying to make our move to Mississippi. I will start by saying,it has been one of the most difficult moves for our family.
I have not blogged for who wants to hear all my frustrations,failures and just plain crankiness about living in a one bedroom "furnished" ya right apartment. Three adults and a dog are getting rather tired of running into each other.
Enough about the negative.
We have made an offer on a home and it has been accepted and we are to close on Oct. 15th. This seems so far off, to all of us. The home is currently owned by a wonderful older couple that have it so sparkling clean and neat that I feel the need to go in and take pictures for it will never be that neat again. The man has been ill so Robyn suggested we make him cookies. I feel that this will be a great idea for I know how I feel about my Arizona home and having to say good bye to it. Maybe it will brighten their day.
Robyn is loving USM and I find that I am drawn there. The campus is alive and I have found a curriculum library in the main library. My love of books drew me there and the lady may be leaving....Can you say job opportunity...
As for a job, I hated the one I took and was ill for two weeks. I knew in my gut it was not right, but did not follow that feeling. Lesson learned.
I am tutoring a boy in the afternoons from Bangladesh. Love this and his mom and dad. The new baby sister is amazingly cute and I feel such reward from this experience.
So my blogging is back and we may actually have a home soon. Yeah!
I do have a question that I would like you to comment on if you would.
Does artwork have to be useful to be considered art????

Transition

So living life in transition really sucks for a type A personality. I am normally in charge of everything, all is organized and my life runs relatively smoothly for the most part. Now do not get me wrong, I do not always know what will happen but I always have a plan or a plan B,C,D,and E.
At the moment, I have an apartment that is furnished with other peoples stuff. I do not have my bedding, my bed, or even my pillow. I take that back, Jeff and I smashed two of our pillows in our suitcases this last trip home.
So as not to sound like I am an ungrateful whiner. I realize others are in far worse conditions than we are, I know that my life is wonderful compared to others, but at this moment, I am frustrated and I want to vent. So if you do not want to read further, I understand.
I never thought that I was defined by my job, but I am. I miss not planning for a new school year. I miss not looking at school supplies and organizing my room for the tenth time in a day. I miss the anticipation of the first day.
I miss not having my lasagna pan. I can't eat lasagna and the tomatos at this time, but I miss making it for Jeff. I miss not being able to bake and have the stuff needed to bake in the pantry.
I miss my daughters, I miss my new son in law. I miss my dog and I miss my house. Okay, I feel better now. I have vented and now I am going to call three more schools for the tenth time to see if they need a teacher for the up coming school year. I am going to go get a sonic drink and drive through another neighborhood looking for a home to lease or rent. I am going to make every attempt to find some organization in my caotic life. Thanks for listening...

Home

What is home? Is it the house? Is it the fact that all the items in the house are yours? Is it the fact that the ones you love are in the house? Is it the fact that you can get the mail?
I have been wrestling with this word for two weeks now. I have looked at about 25 houses here in Hattiesburg, but not one of them has screamed to me "Your home". This has happened in the other six homes that we have owned. I know it sounds weird, but each and every house we have purchased has welcomed me home the moment I have entered.
I am frustrated that this is not happening. Am I looking for the wrong thing? Are my standards out of whack cause we have been spoiled. I have a beautiful home in Arizona that I really do not want to sell. Is this the problem? I do not need as much room as we have in the last few moves, cause Robyn may or may not move with us.
So we looked at apartments yesterday. We need an address, will this make everything seem more normal, I do not know but getting mail is important to the process of setting down roots, so we went looking around at temporary living. I hate apartments. I love the hotel more than these small cubicals where not one person seems to care that there are 500 others in the building. They are rude, and seem to treat one as if they have no other choice than to pay 1200 a month for a small cubical. One even said it was furnished, but that did not include pans, towels, sheets. Furnished for who then?
I have one chance to move my household goods, therefore in the meantime, I need furnished like in pans, linens etc. So how to make some sort of move, into a stable place where the roots can begin and I can bake a cake if needed is necessary. I am going to plsy scarlett o,hara today and go to the beach and think about all of this tomorrow. Stay tuned to the home finding saga.

Time

Time, We never have enough of it to do the things that we feel are important. Then there are the times when we are anticipating something and we seem to have too much time. This is where I fall today. Right in the middle of these two places where time is neither moving quickly or slowly. Just standing still.
My oldest daughter is getting married on Saturday. Seems like just yesterday I was in labor for 32 hours wondering what this little person would be like. She has turned into a beautiful, responsible young lady. She is going to make a beautiful bride, if she just lets her parents and her type A personality chill for a minute.
She is working, going to school and getting married. Lots on her plate but she is capable of doing it all and more. I love you Allison Marie.
My youngest daughter has been home for about a month now from college and she is working at the mill. She is learning how tired ones feet can be at the end of the day, how nice it is to have someone else pack your lunch and to chill in front of the tv. She has kept me laughing this last month as I miss Jeff and worry about the new adventure that we are undertaking.Last night Robyn and I must have been so tired that we were laughing at the silliest stuff. All I have to do is try to sing or dance to the music that the girls listen to and they are rolling on the floor. I know forty five year old white woman dancing to music in the car that she does not even understand would make me laugh too.I love you Robyn Anne.
So we have come to the point where one child will be on her way to her new married life this weekend, one daughter will get to spread her wings alone for a time and the forty five year old lady will get to be with the father, husband and best friend that she has missed for more than a month. Time can stand still for a bit longer, but then we must go forth and enjoy everything that is laid out before us. Here's to a wonderful weekend and new adventures for all.