Transition

So living life in transition really sucks for a type A personality. I am normally in charge of everything, all is organized and my life runs relatively smoothly for the most part. Now do not get me wrong, I do not always know what will happen but I always have a plan or a plan B,C,D,and E.
At the moment, I have an apartment that is furnished with other peoples stuff. I do not have my bedding, my bed, or even my pillow. I take that back, Jeff and I smashed two of our pillows in our suitcases this last trip home.
So as not to sound like I am an ungrateful whiner. I realize others are in far worse conditions than we are, I know that my life is wonderful compared to others, but at this moment, I am frustrated and I want to vent. So if you do not want to read further, I understand.
I never thought that I was defined by my job, but I am. I miss not planning for a new school year. I miss not looking at school supplies and organizing my room for the tenth time in a day. I miss the anticipation of the first day.
I miss not having my lasagna pan. I can't eat lasagna and the tomatos at this time, but I miss making it for Jeff. I miss not being able to bake and have the stuff needed to bake in the pantry.
I miss my daughters, I miss my new son in law. I miss my dog and I miss my house. Okay, I feel better now. I have vented and now I am going to call three more schools for the tenth time to see if they need a teacher for the up coming school year. I am going to go get a sonic drink and drive through another neighborhood looking for a home to lease or rent. I am going to make every attempt to find some organization in my caotic life. Thanks for listening...

Home

What is home? Is it the house? Is it the fact that all the items in the house are yours? Is it the fact that the ones you love are in the house? Is it the fact that you can get the mail?
I have been wrestling with this word for two weeks now. I have looked at about 25 houses here in Hattiesburg, but not one of them has screamed to me "Your home". This has happened in the other six homes that we have owned. I know it sounds weird, but each and every house we have purchased has welcomed me home the moment I have entered.
I am frustrated that this is not happening. Am I looking for the wrong thing? Are my standards out of whack cause we have been spoiled. I have a beautiful home in Arizona that I really do not want to sell. Is this the problem? I do not need as much room as we have in the last few moves, cause Robyn may or may not move with us.
So we looked at apartments yesterday. We need an address, will this make everything seem more normal, I do not know but getting mail is important to the process of setting down roots, so we went looking around at temporary living. I hate apartments. I love the hotel more than these small cubicals where not one person seems to care that there are 500 others in the building. They are rude, and seem to treat one as if they have no other choice than to pay 1200 a month for a small cubical. One even said it was furnished, but that did not include pans, towels, sheets. Furnished for who then?
I have one chance to move my household goods, therefore in the meantime, I need furnished like in pans, linens etc. So how to make some sort of move, into a stable place where the roots can begin and I can bake a cake if needed is necessary. I am going to plsy scarlett o,hara today and go to the beach and think about all of this tomorrow. Stay tuned to the home finding saga.

Time

Time, We never have enough of it to do the things that we feel are important. Then there are the times when we are anticipating something and we seem to have too much time. This is where I fall today. Right in the middle of these two places where time is neither moving quickly or slowly. Just standing still.
My oldest daughter is getting married on Saturday. Seems like just yesterday I was in labor for 32 hours wondering what this little person would be like. She has turned into a beautiful, responsible young lady. She is going to make a beautiful bride, if she just lets her parents and her type A personality chill for a minute.
She is working, going to school and getting married. Lots on her plate but she is capable of doing it all and more. I love you Allison Marie.
My youngest daughter has been home for about a month now from college and she is working at the mill. She is learning how tired ones feet can be at the end of the day, how nice it is to have someone else pack your lunch and to chill in front of the tv. She has kept me laughing this last month as I miss Jeff and worry about the new adventure that we are undertaking.Last night Robyn and I must have been so tired that we were laughing at the silliest stuff. All I have to do is try to sing or dance to the music that the girls listen to and they are rolling on the floor. I know forty five year old white woman dancing to music in the car that she does not even understand would make me laugh too.I love you Robyn Anne.
So we have come to the point where one child will be on her way to her new married life this weekend, one daughter will get to spread her wings alone for a time and the forty five year old lady will get to be with the father, husband and best friend that she has missed for more than a month. Time can stand still for a bit longer, but then we must go forth and enjoy everything that is laid out before us. Here's to a wonderful weekend and new adventures for all.

Life

So life has taken over for awhile here on my mountain. My wonderful husband is in Mississippi starting his new job, Ally and Brody are getting married on June 5th, If you are upset cause of no invite, do not be, this is going to be simple, small, lovely and just what they want. Robyn is home from college, keeping me sane and mocha is protecting us and warming our feet.
The wedding seems to be coming together and I will mail out announcements after the wedding .the kids are thrilled and it is exactly how they want it. Love that they are doing it so small and sweet and realize their life together is what is most important. They are just perfect together and have weathered so much. Jaidyn our angel is smiling from heaven.
Ally is enjoying her summer job, stressing due to perfectionism, and looking very professional each and every day.
Robyn is also enjoying summer employment, liking pricking fingers and doing hearing tests. The term nurse is being explored and she is up everyday at five. Amazing
Jeff is learning his new surroundings and trying to find us a new home. He has what seems to be a pet chicken, the bird appears at his window each day at5. The girls have named it chicken noodle and chicken doodle so we are calling it noodle-doodle.
He likes the pool and hot tub at the hotel and realizes how much he misses my cooking.
I am sad to be ending my teaching year but hope to have an interview or two in Mississippi in June. I need a root canal due to teeth clenching at night but the meds have let me eat today. Yeah, after a few weeks of feeling crummy, I am grateful and wish that the scales showed the lack of food, but I will not let that frustrate me. Lord knows that frustration appears regardless.
Goals:
Finish school and let kids know how wonderful they are.
Stop gritting teeth and relax with a mouth guard.
Get the wedding off with out too many hitches.
Go to Mississippi and find a new home and job.
Be greatful for all the mixed up things I call a life.
Try to blog more ...... Did you miss me???//

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day. Why just one day a year? Being a mother takes 24 hours a day 365 days a year and still at times, I feel as if I should be doing a better job.
I have wonderful, beautiful daughters that I am so proud of. I love being their mother. I wanted to be their mother before they were born. We had trouble getting pregnant so the thought that went into these two wonderful children was full of science and patience and prayer.
I have been very blessed as they are the most amazing young ladies. Each day they grow and change and make me proud. They worry about grades, if their friends are doing okay and most days if their mother is doing okay. Jeff left today for a seperation that is due to the new job. I really do not like being away from him as we have always made our role of parents, one of co-parents. If I had had a long day, he would take the girls for a walk, let me go teach basket class which turned into an every Monday night thing which the became "Noodle Night" for him and the girls. It has always been the two of us. Yes, I help with the need for new clothes, makeup etc. but the girls call dad when they need to ask techniccal questions, tell him about something that learned in class or to ask nicely for money for school and books. I am so grateful that they also ask him all the computer questions.
They also know to ask him to go to the movies with them, as I have a tendancy to fall asleep and snore at most movies. I did make it through Iron Man 2 yesterday, but it was so loud I do not know how anyone could have slept.
In other words, I love being a mother, and a wife, and I hope my girls are able to see that in me most days. I know I am not perfect and make lots of mistakes in mothering, but if trying my best each and everyday is enough, then I am a Great Mother.

Wow

I can not believe that this is post number 60 for me. Who would have thought I had so much to say...
Today was the coldest day in sometime around this mountain. Cleaned the house til it sparkled and left for a few hours to let someone view our home. We took the dog with us which meant or options were limited, also the fact that Jeff and I still feel crummy. We were both chilled to the bones and driving around watching the clock til we could come back to the house.
Jeff cleaned the wood stove over 3 weeks ago and it was so pristine. By three we had to break down and start a fire. I love the wood stove. It is so warm and Ally came over and went for a burger with us. Too bad neither Jeff or I could taste it. No appetite or taste buds at the moment. Came home sat by the fire and watched Avatar.
Hoping that I can keep my eyes open, but not gonna happen. On a good day, I sleep through a movie.
I am going to look at this rest as a blessing and the lack of appetite as a blessing as well... Diet without trying.
Oh, yeah and it snowed here today too. May 1st. You would think I lived in Montana or something.
Here's to us feeling better tomorrow, warmer weather and a warm fire in the fireplace to help put one to sleep.

Kiddos

As a teacher I have had many "Kiddos" in my life. It is funny how some remain at the forefront of my mind, while others will fade in and out. I never forget any of them, I just think my mind puts them in different order every now and again.
The last few weeks have been difficult with all the changes in my life. Our move still seems so far away not knowing if the house will sell quickly, slowly or at all. I have a job to do at the moment, but will I be able to find another job in our new area, questions, worries and more uncertainty than I am used to or like in my life.
My patience has been wearing very thin on all fronts, and I caught myself snapping at the kids on Thursday. I did not mean to, I did not want to, but one more repeated question of "Where do I put this?" My answer was, In the same place you have put it all year......
Not good for the teacher to act like that. I decided we needed a break. We are studying magic the next two weeks. Not having a movie that covers the topic, I asked the kids what movie they think they could find magic in?
I was hoping and I was thrilled when they chose Charlie and the Choc. Factory. We all sat down to color some mother's day gifts and watch this movie.
The children would chime in every now and again where they saw magic and optical illusions like I had shown them on the computer.
As I sat resting, one child came up and asked to sit on my lap. As I gently rocked my chair I asked her if she felt okay, cause she was so warm. She said it is not me Ms. Comer, it is you that is warm. I think you are sick. I was caught off guard and she went back to her seat. Moments later another child came up and said "Are you giving free rocks in your chair?" I said sure and he sat on my lap. I asked are you feeling okay? and he said yes but I think you need to rock cause you do not feel good. I said really how do you know that? You are all white and warm he said.
So two hours later as I drove home to check on my husband who was ill, I realize that I really do not feel very well, I wake up to a well husband, and a sick me, with the fever , the chills and the headache.
Children know so much, they sense everything. Jeff and I have been going and going so much that it finally caught up to us.
I look forward to feeling better and returning to my little kiddos on Monday.Hoping that they are the ones that gave this little bug to us and that I did not pass it on to them of course.
I wonder if I ask them, if they have insight into when our home will sell???

Oh, yeah, and they can tell when I am sick, but not one of them told me that I forgot to put my makeup on for work on Monday. Maybe that means I do not really need the makeup or is it that I look that poor all the time????