The dark days

I have relied a great deal on God this past few weeks. We had deaths in the family that were expected, two great uncles, unexpected my Uncle Jim, tragic my mom's friends sister, and then just deaths of friends parents, family members and unexpected bad news. I got to the point where I did not want to answer the phone or read my facebook.
During such times, it is almost like a shock to ones system the grieving process. I remember it vividly with the death of our granddaughter. During this time I talked to God late at night, early in the morning and just about constantly quietly in my head. I do not remember things that I said, where I put items or even phone calls from friends. This I think is our coping mechanism. We have to deal with the present and that is all our brain can handle at the point that grief is taking over.
Anyways, I went to this point again this past few weeks. We were lucky to have Ally and Brody come for a visit and during this time I reverted back to the need to know where everyone was all of the time. This happened when Jaidyn died. We were calling each other all the time. I was calling my mom and checking on her, leaving messages for Jeff and then when the kids came, I was able to just be. It was so nice to have all my chicks here in the hen house. I did not need to call them for they were here. They were laughing and carrying on like twenty year olds do. I was happy, they were happy and the world seemed alright again.
My angels in heaven are watching over all of us and it is good to know this. They guide me and help me in times of trouble but more than that they understand all the fear, grief, and sadness.
All of them are missed daily and I look to them for guidance.