Feedback

So I finally went and did it!!
Thought I would wait tell tomorrow to tell you what I did, but I want feedback.
I have been trying for months to get my hair cut. I am either exhausted after a long day, a parent come in and stops me, or the sky decides to dump 72 inches of white wonder on my life and leave me home bound for five days.
Today, I left work right after the kids got on the bus. I told two of my friends at work to expect a new me in the morning and I was off.
Well, not quite. I had to go to the post office to mail some valentines I had made for some special people in my life first. I get in line and there is a woman in front of me with the perfect hair and color. Ok now I am second guessing my decision again. This older man opens the door and I notice his hat says Montana. I as those that love me know do not need any more of an opening and I ask him if he is from Montana. No he says, my wife's cousin lives in....Oh, yeah Kalispell. I say oh I was born there and it was a nice way to spend my time in line. Anyhow, I mail the valentines and off I go. Snow is now falling heavy, do I go or just head home??
I decide that I need a route 44 slush from Sonic to make this decision and pull into the drive thru. Why is this such a problem????
Why am I having a problem getting my hair cut?
I drive to the salon and walk in. I have made up my mind that if the lady I know is not there or too busy I am going to leave. She is here....
I sit down and tell her what I have in mind and how this has taken two months and what is my problem. Forgot to tell you she is the mom of a student I had 4 years ago in first grade. She is so kind and patient, and she say, you just need some feedback on your thoughts for your hair. I said what? She says sometimes I am the same way, she says you need to be comfortable and know that you will not be bald. I really did not think that that was my fear I said. But she went on. No not really bald but open to critisism from others. I said you are so right. If I left my hair I could always say, I am trying to go get my hair cut but this excuse, and that excuse. When you finally do it, you have to live with the feedback from others on your action.
Man sometimes the strangest things hit me like a ton of bricks. It was not my hair that was making me feel weird but the possibilites that others will make comments that I do not want to hear.
Here I am thinking that I have grown and do not care about others opinions and it comes around and hits me again.
We are all wanting to be accepted and loved. We want feedback, but only the positive kind. I am no different than the children in my class that want to know immediately how they did on their spelling tests. Are they going to get that gold star? Did they make the grade?
Well, I did cut my hair and most of it is on the floor to be swept away. I left the old split ends in the salon and am ready to face the feedback tomorrow. I will post a picture tomorrow after you all give me postitive feedback to help with the self esteem prior to the reveal.......