Education

As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to be a teacher. I played school all day long and after I went to school I continued to play teacher and make my sister play the student and correct papers,write on the chalk board and read books. I love school. I love the smell of the school supply isle at any store. I love the feel of new paper,notebooks with unwritten on pages and pencils that need to be sharpened.
So I have taught in Montana, subbed before I had Ally. In Michigan taught art in a one room school house, in New York lead a group of Brownies, cause I had two babies at this point, in Texas, and in Arizona. Now I am in Mississippi and the term school is taking on new meaning.
I went on more job huntings than one can count this summer. I took "my packet" of resume, recommendations and licenses to every district and school within an hour of Hattiesburg. I was lucky to get three offers for a job on the same day. Here is the rub. I took the one for the most money, I know I should have seen it coming.
I raced home to Arizona to get my teaching stuff. I have one entire side of the garage filled from floor to ceiling with my stuff. I drove for two long days with my daughter Robyn and a dog in 105 heat to get to the job.
I carried box after box to my room, decorated, planned and got down to teaching only to have the worst experience in education in my life. I was yelled at by my supervisor on a daily basis,sat with other teachers in meetings while we were all belittled and told we were no good. I had had enough when I got a note a day about small items like: no names on the bathroom doors,using the word buns, etc. I began to throw up daily and feel horrible.
I was told to make the children walk in a line with no speaking, eat with them and do not talk and make sure that they never behaved like children.
Well, those of you that read this know me well enough that I teach by letting them be children. I let them make mistakes and that was my clue, I had made a mistake.
I quit and have not felt better.
I decided to give subbing a try. Went to the sub training to be told that there were 300 subs on the list, do not expect to work until Dec. or Jan., make sure I dressed in a certain way, make sure the children were not behaving like children and that no one will leave any of the campuses during the day. Kind of came across as JAIL to me.
I came home very depressed and not sure what to do with the fifteen bins in my car that hold only a portion of my school supplies. I do not think that teaching should feel like a prison.
The schools are using words that are on the "big test" daily, they are doing practice pages the look like the "big test", they are having rooms look similar so that the children all see the same things.
Anyone of you feel like screaming yet. I did and I worked out my frustration by lugging and I mean lugging my boxes up 3 flights, 38 stairs today. That is 38 steps up and 38 steps down 12 times. That is 912 steps to think about my decision.
I want to continue to educate, I want to make a difference and I want to find where I fit in the world of achadamia. I want to be a catalyst of change, I want my students to grow and learn and love school like I do.
I just do not know if public education still holds those beliefs. I hope that there is a place in this world where an education is like mine: art, fun, colorful, interactive, and test free....
I am now following my gut. I will teach school and I will do it on my terms, I just have to find the others of you out there that agree with me and my convictions. If you are a parent and you see testing as the only thing that your school is focusing on, say something. Go to your kids schools and complain. We need to get this country to figure this out. Life as a child should be wonderous and school should be where an imagination can sprout and dreams come alive....
Here's to a school year of new crayon smells, clean white paper, and a teacher for each child that thinks testing STinks.